Saturday, January 31, 2015

I'm back...

It's coffee time:-) Cheers!

  • Here I am. Emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt. Back after a break that lasted longer than I expected. But it was much needed. I've cleaned up my social media. I've deactivated my personal as well as my Poonapalooza page on Facebook. It was very time consuming trying to keep up with blogging, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and 2 Facebook accounts. So it's just gonna be blogging, Twitter and Instagram from now on. The only downside of this is that there were people who reached my blog through my links on Facebook. But mostly family members and friends. Now we may have to actually talk on the phone to find out what's going on in our lives.
  • So what's up? Well I've had a few setbacks over the past 6 weeks. Physical as well as personal. Let's start with mid-December first shall we? I ended up falling on an early morning run right after publishing my blogging break post. I fell on all fours and banged my knees and palms up real good. I did take one day off of running, but the way I was affected most was that I was unable to do yoga for about 3 weeks. We spend a lot of time on our hands and knees, so I had to take a Yoga break. I'm back now and have been for about 3 weeks so it's all good, but it really did suck for my relaxation while I couldn't do yoga. 
  • Christmas was hectic. As always I left everything to the last minute. The best thing about the holidays though? I didn't have to cook for a change. Christmas Day was with my in-laws and Boxing Day was with my family. For the first time ever, I worked on Christmas Eve. It wasn't so bad though. The office was a ghost town and I got all my wrapping done.
  • On Boxing Day I ran my first race since the Stockholm Halv. The Boxing Day 10 Miler. It's a Hamilton tradition. Ninety-four years old. I'll likely not run it again. I got last year's medal because they ran out and there was no food at the finish line except for a banana and water. Ten miles is 16K. We should have gotten more food than that. And I paid $55 to run that race. I expected a lot more than an old medal and a banana. I didn't do too badly over all. Ran a 6:55/km pace. I'll take it. I'm still struggling with my pace and runs. 

Boxing Day 10 Miler.

  • New Year's Eve was quiet at my house. We stayed home and watched a movie. Hubby and I usually do that ourselves every year after Julien has gone to bed. But Julien wanted to stay up till midnight, so we let him. He did better than me. I wanted to pack it in by 11pm. I was also sick with a head cold, but it was a nice quiet family night.
  • New Year's Day brought sadness to my family. My cousin died in a fire early that morning. His house was completely engulfed in flames and he was found in the basement the next day. Such a shocking start to the New Year. There are lots of legal repercussions from his death because he had no will. He was the Power of Attorney for my elderly aunt who lives in a home and suffers from Alzheimer's. He was her only child and her husband passed away about 7 years ago so the responsibility for her estate and health is left to her next of kin. That's my dad. He cannot take on that responsibility as he needs his own finances managed. There's just a lot of red tape to sort through as we figure out who and how to appoint new Powers of Attorney for my aunt.
  • I am currently training for the Chilly Half Marathon (1st weekend in March) and the Around the Bay 30K (last Sunday in March). My training has me doing yoga 3x per week and Pilates once per week along with my scheduled 5 runs per week. Temps have been bitter some days, and very manageable others. Either way I have to run. And I have to eat more as my mileage increases. I haven't been weighing myself (again), but I have gotten leaner. I can feel it in my clothes. Yoga and Pilates has also started to firm me up. Especially in my shoulders, obliques and legs. 
  • Work has been heartbreaking and anxiety ridden over the past week. Something major happened on one of my cases and it has just about broken me. My training schedule took a hit this week, but I'm back on track again. I need the normalcy of that right now. And I need to remember to eat and drink lots of water. I hate the feeling of helplessness when you know something horrible is going to happen but you can do nothing to stop it. But I must keep powering on. I've my son to think of. I've been emotionally unavailable over the past week and I know he can feel the change in me. That's not okay. But sometimes I wish I could just have a major breakdown and be a huge mess. That's not gonna happen because I can't afford to do that. I'm not gonna lie. I did have a glass of wine last night even though I said I wasn't going to drink till after The Bay. I'm not going to feel bad about it either.
  • I've been on a therapy hiatus. My therapist needed an extended break. She's been back for a while and I've been dragging my heels at making an appointment. I'm calling Monday to get back into regular sessions. I need it after the incident at work and I'm still working on my self-esteem issues. That struggle is still very real. And I'll likely always have issues in that area of my life. 
  • So that's me in a nutshell. I'm not sure how often I'm going to blog. I'm taking one week at a time right now. Lots of crazy going on in my head. If you feel so inclined you can follow me on Twitter or Instagram. I follow back and post regularly, albeit mostly inappropriately. Twitter is my outlet. It's fun for me so don't get your knickers in a knot if I seem different on there than I do here. This is my real life, Twitter is the convoluted me. And it's not real. I don't always make sense and I'm much less filtered. You've been warned! Follow buttons to the right of me, jokers to the left.

Cuddles with my beautiful boy:-)

Sunday, December 14, 2014

The post about a blogging break...

Back in 2015...

  • I know I've been MIA for a bit. I've not fallen off the rails or anything. I'm 4 weeks in with no wine, fruit, nuts or sweet potato. My next weigh-in is on Wednesday. I'm still posting my food journals and weigh-ins on my Instagram and Facebook page. And I will keep doing that as I take a blogging break for the rest of the year. 
  • This is a hectic time. I'm trying to juggle work, family, training, life. And I'm also doing some soul searching. I think it's been quite evident that I have lost the blogging bug over the past 6 months or so. It's become more of a chore for me and I don't like that. I used to blog regularly without issue and with ease. Now I find myself struggling to come up with anything interesting or useful to say. My day to day life really is futile and boring. I say the same thing over and over. "Food is fuel, running is my savior." To be honest, I find myself super dull. Reading back a year ago, I was much more fun.
  • I'm also on a counselling break. Just till after the New Year. My counselor is taking some much needed time off. But she has given me some food for thought. I am still trying really hard to find "self". I've no idea who I am anymore. Who knew that 2 years in at being "normal size" would still see me struggling with my self identity and confidence? I never saw this coming. That notion that losing weight will bring you instant happiness? Not always the case unless you are emotionally ready for your life, your image, your sense of security (for me it was my extra weight) to completely change. I mean I'm never going back to how I was, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that self confidence continues to be a daily struggle.
  • Jeez, even this post is getting depressing. I'm really not in a horrible place, I just need to regroup. Regroup and re-evaluate my blog. Maybe I need a blog makeover. Maybe I need to focus more on the present and make this more a lifestyle blog as opposed to a weight-loss blog. I'm not sure where I'll go. But I'm definitely going to give it some serious thought. 
  • I will leave you a few quick updates. Hubby and I went to Fallsview Casino last weekend for an overnight. I lost $80 and won $80, so I broke even. We both bought new leather jackets because Danier was having a 50% off sale. I have NEVER spent this much on myself. But I'm not going to feel guilty. An early Christmas gift to me...and him. I love this jacket. I've always wanted a biker jacket. And it fits me like a glove. Must stay in shape for the jacket...
  • I've been discharged from physio. Plantar fasciitis is gone. Rest really does work. My lower back is messed up, but that's nothing new. Still doing yoga and Pilates so flexibility, balance and core strength should aid with all my chronic aches and pains.
  • And my eating is going well. Week four into much more mindful/strict eating. I will continue to eat this way until training for the Bay (last Sunday in March) is complete. To be honest, I like being this much in control during a very difficult time of year. Since I know everything except veggies and protein is off the table, it makes my life so much easier. And I'm a control freak so I'm really in my element right now. 
  • That's pretty much it. See? A couple weeks wrapped up in a few bullet points. Not a lot to say. I thank you all for reading and for being so supportive to me over the 3 years that I have been writing here. This blog was instrumental in helping me reach my weight-loss goals. I now have new goals and maybe it's time to move on from here. Soul searching underway!
  • Wishing you and yours a very joyous and safe holiday season. Peace, love and happiness always. I will be back in the New Year. Cheers!

Isn't she precious? Love this jacket!!!!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

No grains, no gains - Off template foods I enjoy

A group of Primal/Paleo/Grain Free women who blog about their experiences/life/benefits without grains. A great way for others (who may be WANTING TO LOSE WEIGHT, reverse an acute/chronic health trend, and/or transition from commercial weight loss programs) to read about real life women who are living the life and succeeding.

This month's topic is about what non-Paleo foods I enjoy. Just a little background info first for those of you not familiar with my blog. This month would mark my second anniversary on maintenance...but I gained a few pounds and I'm back on weight-loss mode. It's all good. I weighed in today and I dropped 5 pounds from 2 weeks ago, so I'm only 2 pounds above my "goal" weight. I want to lose between 12 and 17 more pounds which will bring my weight between 150 - 155. Strictly for running performance. I'll likely not stay that low after I run the races I'm trying to get leaner for. Both take place in March. I am also 39 months grain/refined sugar/processed food and mostly legume and dairy free.

So what are the off template foods I enjoy? Sometimes I have legumes (ie: hummus, natural peanut butter). The hummus is a rare occurrence. Only when I have company, which does not happen often. The natural peanut butter was more common. I'd have a couple teaspoons following a run. I don't do that any longer. I cut that out a few months ago. I normally follow the 85/15 rule for Paleo. That's 85% Paleo eating, 15% other. 

My "other" foods are red wine, cream for my coffee, sports nutrition (ie: gels and sportive for long runs), and sometimes I have cheese (which can get out of hand and causes me stomach upset), and you know about the peanut butter and hummus. I'll also not stress over sauces when I eat out. I'll avoid it if I can,but don't make too big a deal out of it if there's sauce on a chicken breast or something. I just scrape it off. I  know those sauces include sugar and other non-paleo ingredients, but I'm not going to stress over a little bit of something non-Paleo. What I can't have a little bit of? Grains. Grains are completely off the table for me. That was my binge food of choice...pasta, bread, rice. It's a trigger for me so I completely stay away from it. Life is so much easier that way.

Wine is my big indulgence. I was drinking it on the weekends and really should only be doing that when I'm running regularly. My last injury got my weight up by 7 pounds. I was still eating fruit, nuts and drinking wine like I was running 50K per week. I am currently off wine, fruit and nuts. I'm only eating lean protein and veggies with the exception of sweet potatoes (none) and the starchier ones (squash, carrots, turnip) only a few times a week. I'm going to eat like this while I train for my two races in March. My celebration food after the Around the Bay 30K the last weekend in March? Wine and dates and nuts and dark chocolate. Something to look forward to!

How do I know eating my off template foods won't throw my eating off? They very well could if I'm not careful. I got very anxious when I gained 7 pounds. And when I was on holiday in Europe in September, I gained then too. I ate all the cheese and dates and drank lots and lots of wine. I'm just not sure how much I gained because I didn't have a scale until very recently. My point is that when I'm not as physically active as I normally am (due to injury, or during a European vacation due to laziness), I need to reign my eating right in. Nuts can become a problem for me because I can mindlessly eat them. I don't have to worry so much about amounts of Paleo foods when I'm training hard, but when I'm not, I need to be mindful. My recent gain was a valuable lesson for me and one I'm glad to have been given. Not only do I realize that I need to be on top of my eating, but the scale, and food journaling are valuable tools to use. 

Now check out my blogging buddies and find out about the off template foods they enjoy. Each with different experiences, each with a different story.

For Life -Jeanette
Garden Girl - Karen
The Sunny Coconut - Gwen

My most recent snap on the right taken on Tuesday in the Pilates studio.
I'm about 140 pounds lighter than I was in the photos on the left.